I'm a talker. It's my vocation and my style. I could talk all day and all night and still have more to say. Now, I realize I waste a lot of words. I say a lot of stuff that's not worth saying and to which probably nobody really listens. But, I really depend on my voice. REALLY! How frustrating to try to ask my daughter what she wants for breakfast when she can't understand what I'm squeaking about. I even tried drawing a waffle and a fried egg so she could choose between the two and, let's just say she thought I was giving her a choice between a waffle and a cowboy hat. Ha! (This would certainly be easier if she could read!) But, the real challenge comes when you have to venture out into the world without the ability to make yourself heard. I have a deeper appreciation for those who, for whatever reason, know this struggle as a way of life, permanently.
This world is wired for sound and if you can't make one, you're at a serious disadvantage. I'm sure with the invention of the internet, blogging, and social networks like Facebook things have become a little better. But, going to the post office and trying to tell the attendant that you'd like to purchase the mailer, mail your package, and buy two books of forever stamps...not having a voice presents a problem. And, the funny thing is the quieter you speak the louder the other person tends to shout back at you. At one point the attendant even showed her frustration by saying, "YOU'RE SO SOFT SPOKEN!" I know she didn't mean it to come across the way it did but she seemed to be saying, "Your lack of volume is an inconvenience for me!" I pointed to my throat and squeaked out that I had lost my voice and her attitude changed completely but I was left wondering what it would be like to face this kind of attitude on a daily basis. It must get really old walking up to cash registers or bank teller counters or just about anywhere that requires you to speak and have to point or write a note to communicate. Hopefully most people understand and are able to show compassion and patience. But, I'm sure there are always THE ONES who make things awkward. The ones who seem to be just a little put out at having to take a little extra time to understand and help. You'd probably have to learn who understands you best everywhere you go. Maybe you get used to it, but there would always be that extra step, especially when you go somewhere new.
I tell ya, I'm convicted and challenged to help make folks with any medical disability feel completely at home when I meet them or find myself dealing with them in any way. If losing my voice can make me feel like an outsider, I can't imagine dealing with what some folks deal with day in and day out. I guess I should thank God for giving me this experience so I can have more empathy and, hopefully, His eyes and ears for things like this in the future! And, I know I am going to DEFINITELY thank God for the return of my speaking voice. Which, hopefully, will be by 1pm today when I'm slated to be on-air with Jeremy for 91.5 WCIC's Spring Fund Raiser, Sharathon. (Please Pray!!)
At any rate, I'm so glad Jeremy and I have worked over the past 5 years on different ways of communicating "I LOVE YOU" to our sweet daughter. She knows the sign for it and we love to point to our eyes for "I", our hearts for "LOVE", and point to the other person for "YOU!" Her Great Grandfather Tracey did that during his final days on this earth when he was hospital-bed-bound. No matter what pain he was suffering and how hard it was for him to speak, he would always smile with his eyes and do his own version of sign language to let us know that he loved us so much. Now, there's letting your voice be heard! I hope I will always shout LOVE out to the people around me, whether they can "hear" me or not!
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